Funny Definitions

Here are a couple of definitions that may not actually be found in the dictionary but in the real sense of it, are accurate.

Definitions

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

Lecturer:  A Lecturer is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

iPad security GPS tracking system

The Apple iPad is security conscious with the development of security apps like the GadgetTrak that not only gives the GPS location but also uses the camera to take pictures of the thief to make it easier for the police to help in tracking down the device. These features have been seen in action in a number of cases. For more on this, click here.

Facebook starts using PhotoDNA to scan for child abuse materials

After lots of thought have been put into the matter of child abuse contents on facebook, Zuckerberg and his team have finally decided to join Microsoft in the use of Microsoft’s PhotoDNA which scans pictures for any form of pornographic content. Thousands of pictures uploaded everyday will now be tracked down using this technology. Facebook has about 200 million images uploaded by its users to its servers. For more on this, click here.

Works of students in CMIS, Covenant University

Students of CMIS in Covenant University in the 2012 set have been quite busy recently. Programs have been developed by developers, websites designed by designers (…obviously!). Out of the many things that have been done, I have just been able to put these few here, but this will be updated regularly. Please leave comments below. The original links are placed there in case of updates that I am not aware of. Alright then, here goes…

Programs
Alarm Clock (Original link) by Joseph Marcus
Media Player (Original link) by Ogbizi-Ugbe Tony Emmanuel
UnhideFiles by…anonymous
Case management (Original link)by Alvyn Fasuyi

Websites
Seun Owolabi | Come let us change the world together! …by Seun Owolabi
ArtInvolve – Web Design and Development, Brand Development and  by (coming soon…)
HostSleek – WebHosting, Domain Names and Web Design …by Morris Junior

Blogs
Footprints by Ogbizi-Ugbe Tony Emmanuel

Learn C++ in 1 day!

Yeah…I know what you are thinking. How can you learn C++ in a day? Well, as I believe we all know, it is not possible to learn C++ in a day (or any other programming language actually, except you have an extraordinary skill at that). What I have here are helpful links that can get you started on the basics of C++ and general programming. Hopefully with these links, you can write little useful programs. The links are displayed below:

http://www.cplusplus.com/files/tutorial.pdf
http://www.softwarepreservation.org/projects/c_plus_plus/cfront/release_e/doc/Tutorial.pdf
http://www.ee.ic.ac.uk/pcheung/teaching/ee2_software_engineering/Lesson1%20-%20Introduction%20to%20BCB.pdf
http://mi.eng.cam.ac.uk/~cipolla/resource/tutorial.pdf

Illustrator tutorials

Adobe IllustratorI don’t know how many of you are familiar with Adobe Illustrator. Anyway, it is also a graphic design tool particularly for creating vector images. It can also be used in creating 3D graphics. I guess I have to explain what vectors are about. Well, in the simplest way I can describe it, it has to do with images that are not actually affected by resolution. No matter the size that you need, whether the size of your desktop, or the size of the room you are currently in, a vector image will retain its sharpness and clarity unlike traditional images with the likes of jpeg and bitmap. Now, there are a lot more things involved when we are dealing with vectors but this is just like the shallow interpretation for the ordinary (or average, what difference does it actually make) guy walking on the street to understand. Like I mentioned, Illustrator can also be used in designing 3D images although not as well as cinema 4D and 3d Max would. For more on Adobe Illustrator, click here.

Linked tutorials on illustrator can be found below:

http://www.ndesign-studio.com/tutorials
http://vector.tutsplus.com/
http://www.tutorialized.com/tutorials/Illustrator/1
http://www.noupe.com/illustrator/80-best-of-adobe-illustrator-tutorials-brushes-epss-and-resources.html
http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2007/02/03/adobe-illustrator-tutorials/
http://webdesignledger.com/tutorials/22-very-useful-adobe-illustrator-tutorials
http://www.smashingapps.com/2011/02/08/50-fresh-and-useful-adobe-illustrator-tutorials.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r2qHTKPBmU

There! All set. Hope this makes meaning to you guys! If the rare event that it doesn’t make meaning, please do not hesitate to comment…positively on it. Thank you! Chao!

Photoshop Tutorials

Well, for y’all disturbing me about giving you tutorials in photoshop, your prayers have been answered! Here are links to various famous photoshop tutorials:

http://photoshoptutorials.ws/
http://psd.tutsplus.com/
http://www.photoshopstar.com/
http://www.good-tutorials.com/tutorials/photoshop
http://www.tutorialized.com/tutorials/Photoshop/1
http://www.photoshoproadmap.com/Photoshop-tutorials
http://www.pslover.com/
http://www.photoshoplady.com/

Any questions about the above tutorials can be commented here.